It’s not so much a doctor who lives in the trees I need, as one who treats them. What should I do about the following accident?
This morning, the goats broke into the garden. Actually, it’s Misty. She’s figured out how to open the gate. The others just wait around the corner while she fiddles with the lock, and then they follow her in.
One of them broke a branch of my 3 year-old Bramley apple tree:
Bramleys (cooking apples) are next to impossible to get in Norway, so I want to save it if I can. You can see it better up close. It’s not completely severed, just split:
What I did was I wired it back into place:
And I gave it more support (it’s on a steep slope):
Is there any more I can do?
Meanwhile, from a safe distance …
killer goats were watching me.
A Bad Guide 
Dearieshe says that the Bramley is a triploid and expresses the hope that you’ve done your homework on pollination.
You should put a sign “beware the killer goats”!
(I have a squatter – killer cat and my neighbours are not happy )
Julia, did you see dearieme’s link yesterday to a story about killer goats?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/goat-that-gored-hiker-had-history-of-aggression-2110531.html
However, I believe the goat was framed, set up by the real killers (the other hikers).
Dearie & Mrs Me: I got 24 apples this year without any special pollinating work. Does that mean they aren’t really Bramleys?
Do you have any advice about how to fix my tree?
Oh, no, I missed it, AJP.
Creepy, isn’t it?
And after reading it I agree with you, M. Crown
Yes, it is.
I’m glad you agree. Of course, they shot it.
Of course, so it can not betray them
Too late. We know the truth.
And we will shout the truth from the rooftops!
(Now I feel guilty, laughing at this… poor man… )
Isn’t there a kind of resin that you can smear on the split bits, the same that tree surgeons put on sawn-off stumps? I seem to remember my father using it many years ago to prevent a branch from dying from the wound inwards, and also in his none-too-successful attempts attempts to graft roses. It may not suit, but if it does you can get it from any garden centre (provided they have them in Ultima Thule).
Also, though you probably know more about this: the wire might not be such a good idea in the long run because it might strangle the branches if it cuts into them. Baler twine might be a bit more low-impact.
He’s dead, Julia. He won’t care. It’s more important to clear the name of goats worldwide.
Principal — and what a pleasure the internet can be: now we have gardening advice from Thailand — thank you. I’ll go down to the garden centre and see what they’ve got. You’re right about the wire, I’m planning to untighten it next year. I’ll put some padding under the branches; at the moment, I’m most worried about the snow load and other imminent winter horrors.
I recommend Principal’s blog. It’s about the renovation of a shoddily-constructed but beautiful old terraced shophouse in (I think, maybe) Bangkok…
Do you have any advice about how to fix my tree?
Yes, give the wound some of the gunk recommended above. Then bandage it tightly together. Water in a couple of aspirin, and don’t forget to kiss it better.
You’re right, AJP, we have a better cause.
I like Principal’s blog, there are cats in it!
Or perhaps bandage it tightly first, then smear the protective gunk around the exposed outside of the wound. That might be better.
And spread some tiger dung around it to keep the goats at bay.
God bless you, dearie! And Mrs Me.
Yes, Principal’s blog is great.
In addition to the tiger dung, you might try a ferocious dragon.
They’re goats. They fear nothing and fancy everything. They’ll be attracted by tiger dung too.
It’s true, goats are pretty fearless. And I can’t afford a dragon.
Oh, money is always a problem!
Try to draw the dragon like the boy in empty’s picture (I recommend green crayon, is more realistic).
here be dragons
http://www.flags-flags-flags.org.uk/welsh-flag.htm
A draw-on and a drape-on, but still no drag-on.
I’m not ready to draw dragons, however realistic. I’m still applying bandages to my trees.
The best, most realistic dragons would be stuffed crocodiles hanging from the surrounding trees; that’s the Studiolum method.
I must say, Misty looks completely unrepentant.
hahaha, I thought exactly the same, LH.
This is serious, Crown should talk to her (or him, I don’t remember, sorry!)
She is completely unrepentant. They’re not like dogs, I’ve never seen a contrite goat.
Julia, they’re all girls.
An update on Principal’s shophouse: it isn’t shoddily constructed, as I said above. That was his old house in Chinatown. Sorry, Prin; I misunderstood.
So what are you going to do to prevent Misty from opening the gate again?
They’re actually double gates. You can see them in this post. Temporarily we’re sliding a piece of wood through, to lock them closed together. What I eventually have to do is put a long deadbolt near the bottom of one of the gates that goes vertically down into a hole in something concrete-y in the ground.
We’ve managed to stop her getting into the little hut where we keep their food by depositing a very heavy slice of old treetrunk in front of the doors. Sure we have to move it out of the way to get inside, but it’s our only option. We fight her brain with our brawn.
Thank you both.
Right, dearieme, that’s what I was trying to say. Not on the whole of the split surface, just where it’s still raw when tied together. Otherwise I suppose you just cut off the sap flow or whatever gets trees good and going.
How is your patient today?
Well, it looks better with the bandages; properly supported. It’s supposed to snow tonight (eek!), and now it’s getting dark(er) … Tomorrow I’ll put out the dragons.
I’m glad to hear it’s better.
Dragons are a wise solution, they will keep it warm…
Spring is exploding nicely here.
Too bad we are also experiencing some political explosion, not very nice.
Oh, dear. I’ll have to read about that.
Maybe it will not be anything serious, but here you never know.
This is a newspaper written in English (for when you have too much free time …)
http://www.buenosairesherald.com/
Thanks. I’ll read it later tonight, I’m doing a last-minute clean up outside before the alleged “snow”, and it had better snow now…
Julia, have you ever seen these animals? I was just reading about them. Have you ever seen the capybara? I love them.
According to my wife it’s been snowing in Skien this afternoon and will keep snowing through the night. I’m on the train south through Vestfold right now, and I’ll tell you when I meet it.
Do that!
There are spots of snow in Holmestrand, like it’s been snowing but most of the snow has melted . But it’s pitch dark when the streetlights end, so it may have been snowing farther north without me noticing. Anyway, your reward is on its way.
I’ll be gone by tomorrow, I expect. Our goats were born near Holmestrand.
I didn’t see any goats. Did you take all they had? There’s half a cm of snow on the horizontals of a rebar net at Barkåker north of Tønsberg. I think the search party will be able to dig you out of that.
All the remaining goats were sold when the owners got divorced (it’s always the family that suffers). Rebars? You work awfully late!
Yes, of course!
But only in our zoo.
The first ones, maras, walk free in the Buenos Aires’ zoo.
The other ones, carpinchos, in a space specially made for them.
Years ago we went to “el Palmar de Entre Ríos” and we tried to see them on the wild, but we only get some foot prints and lots of pellets… In “Los Esteros del Iberá” my parent saw a lot of them.
(Espero que alguien entienda esto que parece inglés, lo que quiero decir es esto:
Los primeros son maras o libres patagónicas que en nuestro zoológico andan sueltos y caminan por todos lados. Los otros son carpinchos y tienen un espacio para ellos en el zoológico. Hace unos años, fuimos a un parque Nacional que se llama el Palmar de Entre Ríos y estuvimos persiguiendo carpinchos para verlos en su propio hábitat, pero no logramos más que ver algunas huellas y pellets como señal de que estaban allí. En los Esteros del Iberá, mis padres vieron muchos carpinchos.)
(I hope someone can understand this English, what I mean is this:
The former are maras or libres patagónicas which in our zoo are on the loose and walk everywhere. The others are capybaras, and they have their own space for them at the zoo. A few years ago, we went to a national park called El Palmar de Entre Rios and were chasing capybaras to see them in their own habitat, but we only were able to see a few tracks and pellets as a sign that they were there. In the Iberá Wetlands, my parents saw many capybaras.)
Bare main roads but a layer of slush on the parking ground at Larvik station. Sparkling spots as we pass by warns of hålke in the morning.
I may take my job too lightly, but I don’t do it through a train window. I might, however, recognize a rebar net when I see one at close range. At least when we stop for ten minutes to wait for a meeting train and it’s all I see.
But think how many more job sites you could cover in one day, Trond. You would be the only Statiker needed in Norway.
Norges mest dynamiske statiker.
(This isn’t a comment but the sketch for a new business card.)
Believe it or not we rely on Norwegian weathermen here. Brilliant service. Are Norwegians famous for that? The one drawback is they don’t show the difference between tropical and Nordic rain, so when they say ‘rain’ all you know is it’s going to happen at some point, since it never drizzles but all comes down in 15-20 minutes:
http://www.yr.no/place/Thailand/Bangkok/Bangkok/
I wish we could be rid of ours in 15 minutes.
But how extraordinary. My wife uses the exact same service as you. Perhaps Trond knows the reason. There’s a weather station just a couple of hundred metres from here, it’s monitored by a retired beekeeper (he’s sick of bees); consequently we can get very local, up-to-the-minute info.
The Buenos Aires Herald — I used to read that every day! I’m glad it’s still in existence. Thanks for the blast of nostalgia, Julia.
Oh, thanks for the translation and the links! You should visite those places some day…
(one typo= when I wrote “libres”, I wanted to write “liebres” = hares)
Your welcome, LH!
(estaba segura de que leías el Herald cuando vivías aquí)
yr.no is very good, even if the unnecessarily animated map was annoyingly heavy on my old computer. It’s a collaboration project between the Norwegian Institute of Meteorology and the public service broadcaster nrk. More here. Much of its success is owed to how it makes their data available to the public for free, very unlike the petty protectiveness (and ridiculous pretentions on commercial success) that rides so many public institutions in Europe.
And yes, there’s some tradition for innovative weather forecasts in Norway. The Norwegian phycisist Vilhelm Bjerknes is called “the father of modern meteorology” (another deserving Nobel laureate who never was). More recently the animated weather forecast developed in the early-mid-nineties for TV2 and what was to become the private weather forecast bureau Storm, now StormGeo, by what I think must have been the precursor of the graphic modelling companyvizrt was said to be something of a revolution at its time, and made it onto several of the world’s major TV networks.
Oh, yeah, I forgot. Here’s the weather forecast for Bangkok in Sami and Kvæn.
Haha, I don’t blame him. Buzz, buzz, buzz all the hours that God sends…
Thanks Trond, that’s interesting (especially the Kvaen). And indeed: pilvisää/ umpuilma as promised.
‘this might be a good time to start taking our apples a little more seriously’: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/oct/25/in-praise-of-the-english-apple
Let it never be said you’re not ahead of the curve.
Wow. Oh well, it’s the apple season. I love the idea of a national fruit collection.
I like the article next door too: Bees with brain the size of grass seed solve traveling-salesman problem. Maybe I need a smaller brain.
Better than a giant intellect: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8m9vDRe8fw
That’s a blast from the past. I once saw him buying a newspaper, he was very small.