I may have mentioned the machine that comes around after it has snowed. Not the snow plough, this is a tiny thing; like a small military vehicle, with a popping motor and very squat, it chugs across the open terrain laying two sets of ski tracks for cross-country skiers. The tracks shown here take a winding course down to the lake, swerving to the right above the line of Christmas trees to avoid our garden.
Having learnt to drive in London some forty years ago, when I ski I like to take the left hand track – not out of perversity, it’s just habit and forgetfulness. I’m not very good at skiing. I can pick up quite a bit of speed, but I can’t slow down very effectively. All the Norwegians, of course, drive on the right; but when they see me coming towards them they are adept at leaping diagonally into the parallel tracks. It’s not as hard as you would expect, but I have to close my eyes, grit my teeth and stay on my side; if we both swapped over there would be broken limbs.
Poor Alex is only about as high as one of the ski tracks, but he’s very game and would be happy to try his luck. I have to keep him away, he gets bogged in deep snow.
Fortunately, he’s easy to distract.
Later we caught sight of this couple. They were round the back side of the neighbouring farm, where the tractors are kept. As you can see, they’d started a small fire using lighter fluid. They appeared to be burning the contents of a high-class shopping bag: papers or clothing, possibly. As I walked past with the dogs, they stared. I pretended I was sizing up potential tree pictures with my camera. Then I snapped this as soon as their backs turned. They must have heard the shutter click because they whirled around and looked concerned, but by then it was too late.
Now I have the picture, what do I do with it? I think I show it: from Mauritius to Nova Scotia, from Moscow to Buenos Aires (via Taipei).
A Bad Guide 
Let’s make up some good stories about what these people were up to, burning the bag. I’m thinking they are amicably ending an intimate relationship and burning their love letters together, but we could also try out a more conventional espionage angle.
I’m not much of a skier, either. I took up cross-country skiing in a very small way at about the age of 40, and since then have indulged in it for a few days a year, lately not at all. My most humbling memory of this is of trudging — walking — laboriously making my way — up what felt to me like a pretty steep slope in the woods somewhere in northern Vermont, and having to laboriously step aside as I was overtaken by an organized bunch of teenage athletes who just zooming along with no regard for gravity.
When I read “Alex is only about as high as one of the ski tracks” I think of Tiger, the hound dog of my youth, or rather of a basset hound named Beauregard who once tried to follow Tiger as he frolicked in the deep snow. All you could see of Beauregard was the tip of his tail.
I think somebody from A Bad Guide lumbered over and pointed a recriminating finger at me for ‘privacy invasion’ for my sleeping men pictures, so don’t be surprised, AJ, if you’re denounced for intruding on a sacred moment, shared between two assassins.
Oh, no! you’re in danger now! what were you thinking?
Now you have two options: to become the new Dane/British Wallander or the next victim of this couple!
Alex is absolutely lovely! Poor thing… now.
Let us know if there’s something unusual around the house, please.
And if anything fails, remember Argentina is a perfect place to hide.
Hahaha, jajaja. But although they could want revenge I’m not holding a secret picture any longer – and they knew I’d got one. In those Danish detective stories the motive for murder is usually desperation rather than revenge, wouldn’t you say?
Ø, I was about 40 too. I often have to step aside for faster skiers when I ski, which isn’t often. The people I step aside for are often much older than me.
A good caption would be: “It would have been easier to give it to Wikileaks.”
You’re right.
But we should all save a copy of this picture, in case they come to you and make you and your blog disappear. You never know.
Or we could go for Empty’s romantic explanation…
“The people I step aside for are often much older than me.” jajaja! I practised a little cross-country skiing when I lived in Ushuaia in 1983, but I could never learn the other type of skiing. In winter here in Argentina there’s lots of places to ski, but I’m not too old to learn? Old and poor, it is a expensive sport.
Julia: Cross-country is not nearly as expensive as downhill, you don’t need those flashy must-have-this-year’s-fashion ski suits and huge expensive boots, and it’s wonderful.
When I lived in Switzerland in my early 20s would have been the ideal time to learn downhill, but like you now, I couldn’t afford the gear.
You may want to buy cross-country shoes, which have special studs in the front to slot into the skis but are otherwise just waterproof trainers, because you want them to be perfectly comfortable. But you should be able to hire the skis and you can get away with the sort of warm clothes you would wear if you went for a walk in the snow for the same length of time as you ski. In fact you keep very warm from the exercise – there are some who say it is more strenuous than downhill because most of the time you are walking, not simply letting gravity rush you down.
Like AJP, I have great problems stopping and making sharp, down slope turns. This is because your feet only attach to the skis at the front, not front and back, so it’s harder to manoeuvre the skis. This can be taught, but I’ve never got around to it. Simply falling sidways into the snow seems to work for stopping !
It is just inexpressibly lovely to ski through woods, more or less alone, on a crisp sunny day. I’m getting a bit long in the tooth to do it these days, but I must have another go (next European winter now).
On the main subject – looking guilty because they are burning and not recycling ?
I like your Blow-Up-ey tales. If they ever show their faces round here, we’ll deal with them swiftly and summarily (and it seems most Norwegians sooner or later do show their faces round here, few countries were as decimated by the tsunami). They’ll never know what hit them.
He’s the spitting image of one of the assassins in Michael Clayton.
Thank you, canehan. Yes, I have very good memories from the few times I did cross-country skiing. And though I was 12 years old, I remember doing this sport as a physical challenge.
The problem with costs is specially that all ski centres are very far from Buenos Aires. The downhill ones (that are many) are at least at 1,800 km from here. And Ushuaia, which I think is the only place were there’re a cross-country centre is at 3048 km from Buenos Aires.
You do that, Principal. Ø thinks they may be burning love letters, how gullible can you get.
So skiing is considered driving in Norway?
I woulda put it under walking, in which case it should take place on the left side of the road. (Not that Danes seem to be able to recall this on bike-paths and stairs.)
I still haven’t used my skis this winter. The gear of the whole family were gone when I went to fetch it from the basement. I couldn’t really believe that anyone would have gone in there only to steal a skibag, so I expected it to turn up in some unexpected place, but last weekend I finally gave up and went out and bought new gear to all of us. But since then we’ve been to busy to get out. Unlike Crown, I live one of those streets built for cars and not a skitrack.
There’s an unwritten rule to keep right on Norwegian cycle- and skitracks, but it doesn’t apply to pedestrians. Or those too old or too young to know – like the secondary school pupils I meet on my way to work.
gullible
I think they look sad. But it may be sadness induced by a life of espionage. Think George Smiley or Tommy Hambleton.
You mentioned burning clothing. I wonder if they are burning the clothing of someone who died of some plague. The intrigue may involve theft of biological weapons. I’d steer clear of that spot.
Julia: Excuse my ignorance of South American geography ! I am spoiled by the variety of Europe and the relative closeness of different climates.
This is very funny. Since I live in Moscow, the Land of Corruption, of course I think they are burning documents incriminating them in the “disappearance” of billions of dollars from the Russian treasury. Or perhaps they were hired by former Mayor Luzhkov and his wife to burn proof of payments to their Swiss bank accounts.
As for cross-country skiing — I’ve done it a couple of times, but am too intimidated by the thousands of skiiers in the woods on weekends. Toddlers who can barely walk. Ancient pensioners who glide along without poles, as if they were strolling across a meadow. Teenagers who whiz by so quickly I can’t make out their features. I’m sorry I’m so lazy. My dog, who is part Finnish Spitz and the fastest runner in the park, could benefit from afternoons racing after me as I zip along the paths in the woods. Instead I trudge (in felt boots the size of cabin cruisers) and she darts along through the trees. After two hours I’m frozen (except for my feet), but she’s just getting started.
Do not apologize Canehan, there is nothing to forgive!
In fact, we enjoy to astonish Europeans with our vast distances. It’s one of the few things that we can boast. As if size really matters …
former Mayor Luzhkov
Hooray!
part Finnish Spitz and the fastest runner in the park
Topsy used to be the fastest too. Now that she’s four, she’s slowed down.
could benefit from afternoons racing after me
You need one of those harness leads so that she could pull you along. Dogs love it, owners too.
Julia, you’re too modest about Argentina. It’s a fantastic place, even those of us who haven’t yet been there know that.
Actually, I’m astonished, Julia. I knew Argentina was big, but not THAT big!
Yeah, Mr. Crown, Ding Dong the Witch is Dead (Luzhkov is gone). Typically for ousted Russian bureaucrats, he’s looking for a place abroad to live (too dangerous here — might get arrested). He apparently hoped for Latvia, but since he once compared the leaders of that country to Pol Pot, they’re not too eager to take him. If he applies to live in any of your countries, dear posters, please petition against it on behalf of angry Muscovites!
You see, mab? :-) Mission accomplished!
This Luzhkov man won’t come here, too much competition, perhaps…
On the other hand, maybe he’d feel at home…
(Sigh.)
Oh, yes. 3048 km – that’s a long way to go skiing, even if you enjoy it.
I love those pictures of Alex, he looks so determined and cute at the same time.
Off off topic. A selfish comment. A plea.
I need a book that long ago I’m looking for and asking my contacts without luck. Here it’s impossible to find it in any way.
But, the thing is, I found that the book is in many libraries in the U.S., for example.
So I thought if it would be possible that some kind soul who reads this blog and has access to these libraries, could be kind enough to make me a copy (the book has only 169 pages).
Of course, I offer the kind soul cash, gifts, meals, strolls by Buenos Aires, whichever you prefer. Here are the details of the book and its place in every library where I found it.
http://www.worldcat.org/title/studies-on-alciato-in-spain/oclc/470091088?lang=en
There’s not rush, but it would be wonderful if I can be sure that sooner or later I will have a copy of the book. I really need it for my thesis.
Sorry I can’t help, this is what the site says to me: “Sorry, we cannot find libraries in Belgium that have this item”.
Thank you, bruessel, for trying.
The same thing says to me in Argentina. And then site offers me the nearest one… in Alabama, USA.
There’s nothing in Norway either. Some in London, NY, Boston, etc. – the usual suspects.
In the land of many germs Hamburg, Munich, Passau, Wolfenbuettel and Dresden have it. Where is Grumbly? If all else fails I could get my mother to do it, but that’d take months.
Thanks, Principal!
No, let’s don’t bother your mother, please.
I do not want to cause too much trouble.
Just a little…
Actually, Wolfenbuettel looks like a really good library. (Grumbly doesn’t live anywhere near those places.)
Looks like science fiction to me… (sigh!)
Sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound quite so graceless, only she’s not going to be back in Hamburg till late Feb, then we can bother her all we like.
Oh, no, no, no, Principal!
I meant nothing like this, nor understood your words like you perhaps think I did. Not at all!
Remember my English is not so good, so I sometimes can’t express myself as subtly as I’d like.
What I meant was that I don’t want to bother anyone, although I know that my request is annoying.
Well, yes, all requests are to some extent annoying; only the unstimulated organism is perfectly happy, but it’s also dead. And it might be quite amusing to prove the efficacy and reach of this here Interweb in promoting culture (as opposed to brain-rot) by actually getting that book to you.
=) thanks!
I used to be a member of the Hamburg public library: it was excellent. In fact I met my wife through a notice put up on a board there, in the entrance lobby of the branch in Grindelallee.
Obviously, Julia is about to plagiarize that book and use the gullible among you to remove every copy from every library in the world. It’s telling that the idea occured to her when commenting on destroying the evidence.
So it was only meant to last for a month then? What will she have to pay when she finally returns you to the library?
No charge, I was deaccessioned by the Hamburgers.
Oh, SH*T!!
Trond cached me!
=(
And I thought I was being wise. I shouldn’t have risked my academic evil plan with this intelligent group of people…
AJP, now you have a story to tell us. We want to know more about this!
Shmall world. We lived in Hallerstrasse round the corner till I was four.
I think that last Sunday was Stu’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Stu.
(I am put in mind of the Pooh story where it’s Eeyore’s birthday and nobody paid any notice.)
Have you seen this?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12248501
The curious story fits here, where we talked about possible crimes and the city of Ushuaia was mentioned
To claim yet another coincidence, I was taken aboard the unfortunately named Gorch Fock as a kid. Mr Fock, not his real name, wrote once wildly popular and now totally forgotten books about the lure of the sea. Embarrasingly for a nautical writer, he drowned–in the Skagerrak, i.e. more or less in front of AJP’s house.
In other words: what if we‘re the connection? What if the evidence they destroyed points incontrovertibly to the guilt of the Badly Guided in their own existential drama?
Grumbly birthday, Happy.
-ssingly, even
Yes, Grumbly birthday, Happy!
I actually laughed out loud when I read that. So you’re from Hamburg’s ritziest neighbourhood. She only lived there for three months, but my wife often imitates the Hamburg U-bahn guard’s PA announcement when the train reached her stop: HALLERstrasse!!! It reminded her of an exhortation to attack Poland.
Thank you for tying up all the threads, Principal. Julia, I’ve also read something else about Ushuaia in the past couple of days, but I can’t remember what it was. And there’s no guarantee that it will come to me, either.
Amazingly, I remembered. It’s in this Ferrari commercial.
Pricipal’s comment is amazing, I mean he seems to be in possession of the aleph that re-unites everything. We’re only ignorant puppets in a large scale plot that mingles time and space.
AJP’s photo discovered one tip of the thread. now, we may all be entangled. What would happen next?
¡Feliz cumpleaños, Stu!
(was he around here?)
wonderful commercial! and it also re-unites our world…
Pre-ritzy I think, AJP, plus we lived in one of them Hochhaeuser (my father would have been a student), roses among the thorns until we bettered ourselves.
Julia, if you want it faster you could contact this fellow. I went to school with him, and he’s a professor at the university whose library has the book. Tell him I sent you and I’ll tell him too, then my mother can give him the postage.
Seems he has a petition going to prevent parliament from changing the constitution to make German the obligatory language.
I see he’s a professor of English linguistics; I wonder if he reads Language Hat? He has some nostalgic photos of Hamburg. I lived in Övelgönner at one time, by the museum harbour, – actually it was during George Bush Sr’s invasion of Iraq, the mother of all wars (until the next one) – with views of, and 24hr peeping noises from, its container harbour on the opposite side of the Elbe.
Since I know longer remember which post to add this to, let me say here that I just happened to see Bjorvand & Lindeman’s explanation of the word tordivel “dor beetle (Geotrupidae)”. Since both compound elements have been lost, it’s not transparent at all in Norwegian, but in English it can be straightforwardly read as turd weevil, attested in OE as tordwifel. Turd is inherited from IE, a derivation of the verb inherited as tear, weevil may be from the verb wave “flutter etc.”, which they see as unrelated to weave.
I thought I new how to spell that word.
Thank you, Principal! I’m not at home right now, but I’ll write him tonight (me da un poco de vergüenza, pero lo haré)
¡¡Gracias!!
I’d be happy to sign the petition.
Geotrupidae are very pretty beetles. So weevel isn’t related to jævel?
No, jævel is the regular Eastern Norwegian form of the word written djevel, i.e. devil, from Latin diabolus, which probably came into Scandinavian from English or Old Saxon. Since it’s Teufel in German, I think it must belong to the oldest layer of Christian words in Germanic.
Strangely enough, Ushuaia is now a cosmetics brand in France: http://www.ushuaia-bio.fr/#/efficace-24h
I see that Anatol Stefanowitz in Hamburg teaches linguistics, but I don’t think many actual linguists read Language Hat (Language Log is more likely, although Ben Zimmer sometimes makes an appearance on LH). However, I see that his specialty is Konstructionsgrammatik, known in English as Construction Grammar, a much more user-friendly and altogether more satisfactory alternative to Chomskyan theories.
Julia, to give you some leverage maybe AJP could kindly forward my email address, otherwise you won’t know what my name is (I hope).
My mother’s just above on Elbchaussee, AJP. The not-very-good restaurant at the Museumshafen has poured one of those city beaches you get in Paris, which can’t help with noise abatement.
Hi, Principal! Yes, I was now going to write to your friend and one of the things I was thinking was how am I going to tell him who you were…
If you click on my name in the comment thread, it will direct you to my blog. There in a corner there’s a cat with my name below, if you click it you can see my blogger profile where you can find my e-mail. Would you please write to me? (whenever it suits you).
Troubles and more troubles… this should be my middle name!
Thanks again, I hope your friend won’t kill you for this…
I will send you the Principal’s email. Sorry, I went to bed early last night.
Not to worry, thanks, I’ve emailed her via the blog.
Principal, I lived below that modern white building in Elbchausee that is the office of Gerkan & Marg architects, in a little street called Övelgönner Mühlenweg. As I have mentioned many times, I lived with a tiny aged Gräfin who spent most of her time reading Goethe. She was a remarkable storyteller who’d had an extraordinary life. She lived in a red-brick house that had been built for her by her boyfriend, an architect-slash-developer, a horrible man who used his office’s marble samples to pave the floor of the hall. Now that she’s dead her house has been demolished, I see.
Afterwards, I lived off Parkstrasse, in Grottenstrasse, in Othmarschen. The cheese shop in Othmarschen high street sells really a good aged gouda – you might mention that to your mother.
One minute I haven’t heard of Ushuaia, and the next minute it’s everywhere.
Oh thanks, that’s where she shops. I try to push her in the hipper Altona direction but she can’t seem to leave Othmarschen alone.
Gerkan were building left, right and centre when I last went last year, mostly on the slope (probably on the site of the Graefin’s house). Their office is opposite her.
Opposite on Elbchausee? Small world. I remember some graffiti that someone had written on the side of Gerkan & Marg’s office “Don’t happy, be worry”. My information on cheese may be out of date (1990-1993).
Wonderful thing the internet, is!
I looked bruessel’s link, those french cosmetics called “Ushuaïa” seems related to the Amazonas, not to the frozen lands of the deep south. Apparently they have no idea what Ushuaia really is.
Oh, well. They got the right continent.
Yes, I think we’ve got it down to 100 metres now, we can’t hope for more.
The Boston Public Library has a copy of that book. But it’s non circulating and their copy machines take a beating from high-school students and the like. Last I checked, their IT hadn’t connected them up to the LAN so that scan to email worked (all modern machines have that capability and it’s the printer component that’s always breaking down). I’ll look again and see whether I can manage. A few specific pages would be no trouble at all, if that helps.
Thanks, M.
Thanks, MMcM!
Some of you seem to be quite knowledgeable about computer accessories, so I would like to ask some advice:
Some time ago I bought a small, cheap single-function HP printer, which works well except that it is quite slow. Now it would be to my advantage to have not only a faster printer but a scanner and photopier as well. I was told that the multi-function machines are not as reliable as just plain printers. Any thoughts? Any machine I buy needs to be Mac compatible.
When I was a child, during the summer holidays, we used to visit my grandparents on my fathers’s side who lived in the Gottorpstraße in Othmarschen.
Oh no, I can see the Bad Guide convention is going to end up in Othmarschen. Well, at least the cheese canapés should be fairly good. I knew a woman who lived in the Gottorpstrasse, on the corner, in a concrete house. She was very nice and had lots of parties.
m-l, I only have an ink-jet printer (Epson). It uses about 8 colours, and they’re very expensive to replace. I don’t do much scanning or copying, so I use my camera & printer for it or I send things out to be printed.